Stop Playing With My Food!
by FanFicReader13
Summary: Dawn is determined to rescue Spike's kitten poker winnings. Set somewhere in season 5. Oneshot! Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer and I probably never will. It really sucks.


Spike was lounging on his coffin with a bottle of bourbon. He was bored, really bored. He had thought about maybe going to the Bronze to see Buffy, but she would probably just tell him to go away and insult him until he actually does. He also thought about going to the demon bar and playing some kitten poker, but the guys weren't very fond of him now that he was killing demons. He went last night, and they almost beat him into a bloody pulp.

"Oh my God!"

He jumped at the voice and dropped the bourbon onto the floor. Shattered glass scattered across the now wet floor. He sighed, that was his last bottle. He turned to see who the voice belonged to, fully intending to murder the person who made him drop his bourbon.

He saw a small brunette on the floor playing with his poker winnings. Okay, so he'd have to skip revenging his alcohol.

"Dawn, dammit! Your squealing made me drop my drink."

"Sorry, but I couldn't help it. I mean, look at this kitten. It's so adorable!" she said as she pet the black fur ball. "When did you get a cat?"

"Last night. I won her in a poker game, you know, before those bastards started a bar fight with me. Stupid gits, they are." Spike told her as he laid back down on the coffin. "Now, stop playing with my food and go buy me more bourbon."

"Even if I wanted to get you more, I—" Dawn froze. She tightened the grip on the kitten in her arms. "Wait, your _what_?"

Spike sat back up and gave Dawn a Cheshire cat smile. Good, now she'd finally realize that he was evil. "I said, 'my food'."

She stood up from the floor and walked over to the coffin, still holding the kitten protectively. "You wouldn't."

"I would." He told her, "And I plan to tonight."

"But your chip!"

"Only works on humans, niblet."

Dawn sighed, and she sat down next to Spike on the coffin. "Guess I'm staying the night then. Hey, do you have a bed? Because—"

"What? You are not staying here," he interrupted.

"Well, I can't bring the kitten home! Mom would kill me. So, staying here with you and the cat seems to be the best way to go."

"You can't stay here. And what are you going to do to stop me from eating it?"

"I so can stay here! And I'm going to hold it, that's what."

"You cannot! And please, I could grab the cat from you in second."

"I am staying here. Try and stop me. And you'd have to hurt me to get the kitten, so your chip would go off."

"You can't stay here, Dawn."

"How are you going to stop me? Call the cops? 'Hi, this girl won't leave my _crypt_ because I'm going to eat a _kitten_'."

Spike had enough. He stood up and tried to snatch the kitten from Dawn's arms.

Dawn slapped him, kicked, and screamed, trying desperately to save the poor kitten. "Stop it!"

Spike ignored Dawn and let her hit him, it didn't hurt him much. Despite Dawn's protests, he eventually grabbed the kitten. He placed the cat on the ground. She stopped hitting him, and instead, she settled on crossing her arms and giving him a death glare.

"Leave my crypt, Dawn."

"No! I'm not leaving until I know that she is safe."

Spike sighed and then picked Dawn up, who started to kick him again. He began to carry her towards the door.

"Hey! Let me down, Spike!" she commanded while pounding his chest with her tiny fists.

"Will you stop hitting me?" He gently placed her on the floor next to the door. "Now, please leave."

Dawn looked up at Spike, her eyes pleading with him. "Please. Please, don't. Don't hurt the kitten."

Spike instantly softened, what was it with Summers women and their eyes that made him so weak?

Spike sighed, "Fine, I won't. Promise."

Dawn smiled and opened the door. She turned back to face Spike. "Thank you."

"Don't mention it."

She turned to head out of the door, but twisted herself back around to see Spike once more. "Hey, do you wanna buy me a milkshake?"

Spike grabbed his leather duster and went out the door with Dawn. "The things I do for you."


End file.
